Insights From a Stay at Home Dad: Zachary Bosch
You meet the man/woman of your dreams, get engaged after a solid 5 years, buy your first home together, have a wonderful wedding and an even better honeymoon, then comes the baby right? Dad can go to work and provide for his family while mom stays at home with the baby, cooks, cleans and pretty much does everything else.
Now, let's get back to reality here. We all know life doesn't work the way it's "supposed to"... but is that even how it's supposed to go? The answer is no. Not.at.all. Unfortunately, there are quite a lot of (small minded) people who think this way, the old school way. The way your parents were probably raised to think was correct. Luckily, this generation is changing life as we know it... and to be honest, it's quite refreshing.
Today, we sat down and talked to Zachary Bosch. A full time student and stay at home dad. Whaaaaat?! Yep, changing the game and saying F society. Here's what Zach has to say about his life:
Do you feel any social pressures/ what kind of feedback have you gotten from others about your situation? Luckily, I haven't really felt any kind of social pressures just yet but the feedback from people is typically puzzled. They think I'm going to say "Just kidding!" when I say I take care of her myself everyday. Was this your initial plan or what made you become a stay at home dad? It definitely wasn't my initial plan because I've always had a full time job since I was 17 but I'm not really making enough money for the family life we're living. I am currently going back to school to get my bachelors in Computer Science so that I can get a better paying job. I have classes for a few hours on Mondays and Wednesdays and no more than one hour on Fridays. During those times, one of her two grandmother's will watch her. Other than that, I'm with her pretty much every second of everyday.
Were you hesitant to the idea of becoming a stay at home dad? Why or why not? I was hesitant at first because I figured I can at least work half time and go to school half time but my wife made me realize that it's better to just do school 100% and get it over with. She also mentioned that I'd be a big help at home with watching Zoey, which was becoming an issue sometimes while we were both working full time because we started over working the grandmothers. How has your personal/social life changed with your new lifestyle? As soon as my wife and I learned that she was pregnant our whole lifestyles changed. We stopped drinking so much, I quit smoking, we cared about our personal health on a whole new level, started making safer financial decisions, etc. Once Zoey was born all of that just multiplied. Of course our social life took a hit because since we were already asking the grandmothers to baby sit Zoey when we went to work during the week, it was hard to get a "yes" on the weekends too.
What does a day in the life of a stay at home dad look like? It is VERY routine. Zoey wakes me up around 8:30am, I make her breakfast first and while she eats and watches Disney Junior, I'll then make my coffee. When she finishes eating I take her outside with our dog, Duke, so that they can waste each other's energy out and let her play with her toys until she gets tired. Around 11:30am she takes a nap which can last anywhere between 45 min to 2 hours and that's when I'll get some school work done. Then it's lunch time when she wakes up which I usually have pre made from the beginning of the week with some fruits and veggies I serve at the moment. The rest of the day is trying to find things to do for her to entertain herself so that I can get work done around the house that needs to be either cleaned or fixed, which is a never ending list. Dinner time is around 7:00pm and she's bathed and ready for bed by 8:00pm. Once she goes to sleep I'll do school work until about midnight and then watch tv until I fall asleep. What's your take on the idea that most parenting/staying at home with the baby is a mothers responsibility? I think that idea has definitely shifted with our generation. It depends on the parent's situation and if it makes more sense for the father to stay at home it is fine, as long as both the mother and father are ok with the roles they'd have to play.
How do you and your partner split responsibilities or chores around the house? I do as many chores as possible while I'm at home and if I don't have any major projects due for school. l'm home anyway so why not? She also works 13 hours in the graveyard shift (night shift) as a nurse so when she gets home she's exhausted and the last thing she'll want to come home to is the house smelling like a sink full of dirty dishes. We also just bought a house so the number of chores there are to do is ridiculous so if I can cross something of the To-Do list, It's a great feeling. I will say that she refuses to do laundry so I've always been the one stuck folding clothes for two adults and a baby. Any advice for new parents? Enjoy the little moments because the truest cliche there is about kids is that they grow up so freaking fast and you'll miss the days you had so much control over them. What have you learned along the way to help you on a day to day basis? Whenever you're absolutely desperate for time to yourself, just find a good Disney movie for her to watch. They freaking LOVE Disney. Why is Zoey so cute? You can get lost in her blue eyes. Her dimples and smile are a mirror image of her mother's. She's extremely charismatic, she lets you know exactly what she's thinking/feeling just from one of her many facial expressions. But my favorite thing about her is how much she loves love. She loves giving my wife and I kisses but she loves watching my wife and I give each other kisses even more. If I'm playing with or tickling my wife, Zoey literally cracks up even more than if I were tickling her. Sometimes Zoey will grab my leg and lead me across the room to wherever my wife is and then she'll grab her leg, indicating that she wants to hug us both at the same time, so then my wife and I will get on our knees and Zoey will force a hugging sandwich between all three of us.
How sweet was that last answer?! If y'all didn't tear up you have no heart. On a side note, Zoey IS the cutest thing ever. Just saying.
Anyway, there you have it guys. If it works, it works. Society has shaped us to believe certain roles should be played by a certain gender, but that is far from the truth. Parenting responsibilities are equal and should not be expected more from one partner than the other (except breastfeeding of course). Here at EBS we believe in equality and we hope to have opened your mind to new perspectives. Huge thank you to Zach for taking time out of his busy schedule to have a chat with us. Keep rocking!
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